Monday, December 20, 2010

When Times Get Tough

the tough get literary:
...A vandal who gouged 13 vehicles at a Pittsburgh-area dealership decided to use a 2006 Focus as a chalkboard, scrawling the Latin phrase "Nemo me inpune lacessit" on its flank. The recession really hasn't been good for literature majors.

The phrase sketchily etched last week refers to the family coat of arms of the protagonist from Edgar Allan Poe's short story "The Cask of Amontillado," and translates as "no one attacks me with impunity." Police have no leads, but on the bright side someone's getting a deal on a four-year-old Focus for Christmas....
The best part is the comments:
As I wandered through South Pitty
Listless, same as half the city,
Suddenly I saw this shitty
Focus that I’d owned before.

Left I looked and then to starboard,
No one near, just trash and cardboard.
Never knew that I had harbored
Long-lived hatred for this Ford.

Fury, hatred, rage galore.

Gas I’d none, nor e’en a hammer.
Nothing left but Lit and grammar.
I might end up in the slammer
If I whacked it like I’s Thor.

Armed with what my life had left me
Silently and oh-so-deftly,
Hand and key engraved my message,
Gouged into the frickin’ door.

Take that, finance-hawking whore!

I wandered onward, sans rancor.
And this is great:
Impia tortorum longos hic turba furores
Sanguinis innocui, non satiata, aluit.
Sospite nunc Focus, fracto nunc funeris superficies,
Mors ubi dira fuit vita salusque patent.

"Here an unholy mob of torturers, with an unquenchable thirst for human blood, once fed their long frenzy. Our Focus is safe now, the baneful paint destroyed, and what was once a place of savage death is now a scene of life and health."

No comments:

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...